Post by sir on Nov 3, 2009 9:22:28 GMT -5
Below is text from the answer I made in lesson time. Structure, language choice all important...
Who would have thought they’d end that way? So close, but George shot his own best friend.
When I first saw Lennie, I almost felt scared of him. You could see the strength and power in him when he moved. . When learned he couldn’t control it I didn’t know whether to be more scared or less! Hard to be scared of a man who is a boy. And when I saw him with that puppy – God, what a child.
But George, a different matter. He was so careful when he first arrived: I heard tell he inspected everything like a nurse would. Then there’s the way he moved and looked, like a bird or something, so careful. I thought he was gonna be one of those spikey characters who keeps himself to himself, but I sure had my mind changed when he opened up about that Weed incident. I couldn’t not trust a man who’d hide in a ditch for a day, all cus he promised an old maid he’d look after that monster of a man...
Who would have thought they’d end that way? So close, but George shot his own best friend.
When I first saw Lennie, I almost felt scared of him. You could see the strength and power in him when he moved. . When learned he couldn’t control it I didn’t know whether to be more scared or less! Hard to be scared of a man who is a boy. And when I saw him with that puppy – God, what a child.
But George, a different matter. He was so careful when he first arrived: I heard tell he inspected everything like a nurse would. Then there’s the way he moved and looked, like a bird or something, so careful. I thought he was gonna be one of those spikey characters who keeps himself to himself, but I sure had my mind changed when he opened up about that Weed incident. I couldn’t not trust a man who’d hide in a ditch for a day, all cus he promised an old maid he’d look after that monster of a man...